Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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