I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
