i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
