Barsexuality is the new black.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
