This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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