i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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