Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
