and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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