Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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