It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
