she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
