you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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