i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
50% drunk capacity currently
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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