Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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