The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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