Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Found the puke drawer
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize