Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
