There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sext me about skeletons
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
