You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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