If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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