life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
