I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
