i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize