just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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