you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
