Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
