Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
