Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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