It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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