mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
