my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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