The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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