I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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