It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
