paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
