marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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