I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
