We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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