I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
