Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
