I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it because I queefed?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
