Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
