You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
