I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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