it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
