Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
