No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
