it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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