Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
