Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
