All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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