I think I died a long time ago.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
