i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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