This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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