well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
