I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
