so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
