We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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