Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
