what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize
