i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You took a bar mat shot.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize