I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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