saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
