He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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