dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
