Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
