so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
